2007 was pretty much our last hurrah with showing. He won his division at Rochester State Fair in gymkhana. It wasn't much but it felt like such a huge accomplishment! I moved him to another barn the winter of 2007. I rode there in fits and starts for a few years before he moved to Virginia. We went to the New York State Breeder's Show with the show team from the barn. I did not compete but I brought Z along to expose him to new stuff. We got to ride in the Coliseum on the fairgrounds and I was so tempted to sneak him onto the racetrack and have a gallop but all the gates were locked. He behaved himself each time I rode him and in his stall next to his buddies. But the CRPS reared its ugly head again and after the first night of sleeping on a cot in the cold trailer my gremlin had taken over. I had to leave early but I still count it a fun experience. Back home on the farm I rode Z everywhere. I always loved trail riding the most. I took him to the beach with a couple of other horses a few years before and there was about a 2 mile stretch of pristine beach to gallop on and he took off like he was shot from a cannon. We met with another TB on the beach and we had to race. Z was younger than the other guy so we gave them a head start, but as soon as I let him go he over took the other horse in about 3 strides. I also took him to a few hunter paces. We got penalized for going too fast, but we had a blast. He did jump some of the lower jumps that were available but I never jumped him at any height. We had a dirt road off the main road that we could gallop on too. So some days I rode in the ring, and some days we took a quiet walk down the road. He would go out alone or with other horses without a problem. He is so versatile. He could do a pleasure show one day and a gymkhana show the next. He seemed to know when the Western saddle went on he was going to be able to run. He is and always was my motivation to keep pushing through the bad days and trying that new therapy or injection or nerve block because it gave me more time to be with Z. During the really bad years my dad would drive me out to see Z and he has grudgingly admitted that I always seemed more "alive" after a few hours at the barn. During those bad years I was on every medication conceivable. I was drugged out on Fentanyl patches and took so many other oral medications that I felt like a walking zombie. I was still in pain. But I didn't care. Looking back 2008-2009 were probably my lowest times. I was depressed, drugged, angry and frustrated that the treatments weren't working. I remember going to the barn and spending one particular day in a daze. I thought about giving up, selling Zephyr and going on disability. I knew if I sold the horse that would be it. I would give up the fight and roll over and just accept that I won't get any better. I had also been through 3 back surgeries from a herniated disk, was having uncontrollable leg tremors that put me in the hospital at one point. I was bringing my cat in from the screened in porch when my leg started spasming and I lost my balance and put my hand through the glass portion of the door. I cut my hand and elbow enough to get stitches. In November of 2009 I lost my job. The doctors had written me off as a lost cause. The cold was too much to bear. I went to see Z one more time and then I drove to North Carolina to live with my parents again.
